Back to the future … An alternative vision of English football
Published:
Today marks a special day in the calendar for 1980s film nerds all over the world. For those in the dark October 21 2015 is the exact day that Marty McFly and the Doc travel to in cult film sequel Back to the Future II.
To mark the occasion the Ladbrokes News team are going get behind the wheel of the DeLorean and travel forward in time the same number of years.
With McFly transporting from 1985 to 2015 our calculations make that a jump of 30 years for us and here we imagine the football landscape of 2045…
Ticket prices
Football hasn’t been cheap to watch in England for a long time but the 2045/46 season reaches ridiculous new heights (or should that be depths?).
Using Arsenal ticket prices between 1985 and 2015 as a guide, fans were forced to shell out an extra 12.68 per cent per year for a single ticket, with the price rising from £3.50 in 1985 to £45.69 in 2015.
Using the same average annual rise an Arsenal fan will be expected to hand over £1,641.44 to watch a single match.
Fortunately the banks offer some generous rates on their season ticket mortgage deals!
Food
Prime Minister Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver, son of fast food vigilante Sir Jamie, has followed in his father’s footsteps and won the war on hydrogenated fat.
As a result of the Healthy Eating Act 2042 football grounds are permitted to sell only steamed vegetables and green tea. A tasty meal deal, including a handful of goji berries, can be snapped up for the bargain price of £34.
Governance
Aware that his body was giving up on him Fifa president Sepp Blatter had his head preserved in a jar in the late 2030s and continues to run football from his place on the Fifa mantelpiece in Zurich.
As a result, all race-related issues are now settled with a handshake, players can walk away from their billion-pound contracts on a whim, and the International Women’s Lingerie Football League is in its sixth season.
Blatter though, hopes his deteriorating popularity will be restored when everyone sees what a success the World Cup is in Antarctica.
Players
England manager Brooklyn Beckham beams with pride from the sidelines as 35-year-old veteran Kai Rooney finally breaks father Wayne’s England record by netting his 57th goal for the Three Lions, a derby penalty against the People’s Republic of Cornwall in a World Cup qualifier.
In a twist of irony Dean Ashton Junior, forced to retire at the age of 19 through injury, wins the Fifa 46 Video Game World Cup for a third year in a row, playing as PR Cornwall and beating England in the final.
All Odds and Markets are correct as of the date of publishing.
Fancy a flutter? Sign up today to claim up to £50 in free bets.
