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Man United core form our worst ever Premier League medallists

| 25.04.2013

When we’re not supplying thefootballweek.net with invaluable insight, we’re admiring their fine football judgement.

However, their worst Premier League medalists XI is there to be beaten.

The Folk House Rude Boys may get a result against that mob, but they’d definitely get a result against these no-hopers…

Mark Bosnich – When he wasn’t engaged in extra-curricular activities with Sophie Anderton, the Australian made 23 appearances. But when you are suddenly replaced mid-season by Fabian Barthez, you know something is up.

Alexey Smertin – Elected as a politician after having his contract terminated at Fulham, Smertin’s three-year spell at Chelsea consisted of just 16 games. Forget benched, try back-benched.

Stefan Savic – Bought by Roberto Mancini after impressing against England, the young centre-back had an uncontrollable urge to pass to any player not wearing sky blue and was farmed out of Man City after 20 unimpressive performances.

Igor Stepanovs – Standing 6ft 4in tall, the distance between brain and feet clearly hindered his, and Arsene Wenger’s, decision-making. He managed to oust Tony Adams and Martin Keown 14 times during the 2001/02 season.

Quinton Fortune – Despite 126 appearances for Manchester United, Fortune never actually managed enough games in a season to land a medal. He did manage to find one left behind on the Carrington training ground though. Sherlock.

Jesper Blomqvist – Touch and go between Blomqvist and Karel Poborsky, the Swede edges it due to his pin-up good looks. This is a team with commercial viability at heart after all.

James Milner – Aguero, Tevez, Balotelli. Names surely to be the cornerstones of Mancunian nostalgia for years to come. James Milner, who made 26 appearances for City in the title-winning 2011/12 season, is not. With about much as flair and craft as a blunt chisel, he often looked the odd one out in the side.

Paul Warhurst – Utilised more often than Mark Bosnich’s mobile, the defender-cum-midfielder-cum-attacker makes it due to his ineffective ability to play anywhere. And we’re guaranteed a goal a year.

Jordi Cruyff – As Johan’s managing this bunch of misfits then Jordi gets in regardless of merit, re: time at Barcelona. The fact he fell behind Fortune (see above) in Sir Alex Ferguson’s pecking order helps merit his place in this team though.

Mateja Kezman – Signed as part of the ‘Batman and Robin’ double act by Jose Mourinho. It tuned out there was more Robben than Batman as the Serb scored a paltry five league goals and was subsequently banished to La Liga.

Dion Dublin – Wikipedia describes Dublin as an accomplished amateur. They talk of him as a percussionist and so would we rather this than remember his contribution to United’s 1992/93 title team.



Matthew Mower