In The Headlines
It’s all about Brazil today, as the hosts go in search of a win against a Germany team seeking revenge for that 2002 World Cup final defeat – you remember, the one that was on telly at midday over here.
Fortunately the game at hand is on at 9pm in England, giving you enough time to digest your dinner and the latest episode of Hollyoaks before putting some pre-game bets on (David Luiz to score anytime at 6/1 you heard it here and here folks!)
Sideshow Bob is set to take the captain’s armband in the absence of the suspended Thiago Silva who failed in his appeal against the most stupid and obvious yellow card ever.
Pundits are currently busy frantically trying to talk up the chances of players like Fred (he scored loads in the Confederations Cup), Hulk (he’s named after a superhero) and Jo (he’s…got big hair) in the absence of Neymar but it sounds like Germany are already quietly confident.
Sami Khedira has adopted a novel approach to explaining Germany’s stop-start World Cup, they are saving their energy for the final!
“I think our football has become more shrewd, more mature,” he said.
“If we were playing the same ‘power’ football as in 2010 over here, we would probably already be eliminated because we would be out on our feet.”
No Sami, if you had played bogey teams Italy and Spain over here you would just be out silly!
The Non-England Camp
The man you may remember as Lex Luthor from Richard Donner’s 1978 version of Superman and 90s submarine thriller Crimson Tide was talking up Brazil’s chances again, as you would kind of expect from the Selecao manager.
“Neymar has done his share. Now it’s up to us to do our share,” he told reporters. Yeah Phil, I reckon Fred got about four-matches-worth of shares to make up for the lazy s….nevermind.
Luiz Gustavo is back from suspension for Brazil while Willian is set to start in place of Neymar, so it’s not all doom and gloom for the hosts folks!
Argentina and Holland look set to be the beneficiaries of two World Cup miracles amid reports suggesting Sergio Aguero and Nigel de Jong could both be in line for a return for their respective teams ahead of their World Cup clash.
Unfortunately the rumours suggesting Neymar and Angel Di Maria could return with the help of stem cell treatment appear unfounded
Neymar seemingly has a fan in David Beckham after the former Real Madrid man took to Facebook to send his best wishes to the mullet-haired-one via a posting featuring three images of the trans-continental pair together.
Elsewhere in a rare victory for the fans the director of a FIFA hospitality partner was arrested after being busted in a World Cup ticket scalping ring. I hope they make him watch all of the Qatar World Cup from outside the air-conditioned stadium.
In Other News
New figures reveal Neymar may have been the victim of football’s equivalent of the boy who cried wolf, with statistics showing Brazil have won the most ‘fake’ fouls at this World Cup.
Nothing fake about his current injury though…
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