In a game decided by a moment of absolute madness, Manchester United clung on to secure a win that keeps them on track for a top four finish.
Ashley Young was the hero – or was it Tim Krul? – in a match that probably had Alan Shearer tearing whatever little hair he has left out of his head.
Here is how Twitter reacted to the unfolding and largely forgettable action at St James’ Park.
Ahead of kick-off, many seemed confident of seeing another Red Devils goalfest on Tyneside.
Man United have scored 3+ goals in four of their last five Premier League matches against Newcastle. pic.twitter.com/8L8Ej2n9Pz
— Squawka Football (@Squawka) March 4, 2015
However, some statistics did point to the game being a much more sombre affair.
442 – Manchester United have played more passes back to the goalkeeper than any other PL team this season. Circulation. — OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) March 4, 2015
The latter proved the more accurate prediction with a Fabricio Coloccini tackle on Angel Maria among the few early ‘highlights’. And that was after nearly 20 minutes.
— Premier League (@premierleague) March 4, 2015
One of the biggest talking points of the first 45 was a possible penalty claim for Newcastle. Possible as in, possibly stonewall.
Should a spot kick have been given for Chris Smalling’s trip on Emmanuel Riviere or was the Frenchman looking for it? Do we need to ask?
BT Sport’s main man certainly seemed convinced.
How have Newcastle not got a penalty there!!?!??
— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) March 4, 2015
But at least Ladbrokes was on hand to inject some humour into a tense encounter between the match official and the Newcastle United manager.
In an otherwise forgettable opening half the ongoing battle between Jonny Evans and Papiss Cisse dominated proceedings.
The pair were involved in hefty challenges, aerial battles and even found some time to exchange fluids. And it was every bit as weird as that sounds.
The half started in a sombre mood for Manchester United fans, with Angel Di Maria subbed off after putting in the kind of performance that must have had some Red Devils fans wistfully recalling the glory days of one Juan Sebastian Veron.
He was a snip at roughly £31m you know…
There was some happy news after the break though, with Newcastle midfielder Jonas Gutierrez making a return to action after cancer treatment. He was booked two minutes later.
Closing in on a commendable draw with the Red Devils, the Magpies and Tim Krul in particular, then contrived lost their collective minds to gift Ashley ‘bird poo in the mouth’ Young the winner on 89 minutes.
In the words of the Chuckle Brothers: “Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.”
Still, at least Young was happy and he hadn’t been happy for a long, long time apparently.
400 – Ashley Young has scored his first Premier League goal for 400 days. Cruel. — OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) March 4, 2015
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