RVP tells Falcao to fight for Man Utd spot, but who’ll win?

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When Radamel Falcao joined Manchester United in a suprise loan move from Monaco on transfer deadline day many, including this very website, reasoned that star United striker Robin van Persie would have to add the word “former” to his tag.

However, the Dutchman has refuted claims that he’s due to have surgery to fix an existing knee injury and even offered his new teammate out for a fight to decide who gets to start with skipper Wayne Rooney.

Well, not exactly, but the sentiment got us thinking. What if the striking conundrum was just so perplexing for Louis van Gaal to figure out, that he actually decided his lineup by fight?

If it ever happened, we’d be ahead of the curve, as we predict who, out of Falcao and Van Persie, would win in a dustup:

Age is on Falcao’s side

At 28, the Colombian striker should still possess the fleet of foot to evade his rival’s many attacks. He’s shorter than Van Persie too, which is a negative in terms of reach, but lowers his centre of gravity, making him a more nimble opponent than the former Arsenal man can handle.

Van Persie’s a walking injury

So prone is the 31-year-old to layoffs, that he checked for blood when Ashley Williams booted a ball at him two seasons ago:

Surely all the Colombian will have to do is land an accurately swung boot on Van Persie’s swede and he’ll be ruled out for months?

Falcao’s got a temper

So tightly wound is the newest member of the United frontline, that even being penalised for a foul in a friendly sets him off:

Imagine what he’s going to do to old brittle-bones Robin now one of his own teammates has offered him out.

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Matt Wiggins

No idyllic sound comes close to leather on willow for Matt, whose previous experience includes stints with Spin Magazine and Surrey County Cricket Club. It's not just cricket that interests him though, with football, golf, tennis and any American sport not played on ice all high on his list of favourites.