Every so often a transfer rumour comes along that needs reporting just for its lunacy. Emmanuel Adebayor to Chelsea is the latest noodle-scratcher.
Sure, there is a loose hook to hang the link on, as the lethargic Togolese scored eight goals in 22 games under Jose Mourinho’s watch at Real Madrid in 2011.
However, Chelsea have been praised to the high hills for their decisive action in transfer windows past. They have pinpointed a weakness in their squad and filled it with quality, but their demand for a high-earning anti-striker vanished with Fernando Torres.
Regardless of how improbable the move is, it has caused some intrigue.
What other signings could the 1/20 top-flight certainties hypothetically make in a world where a £100,000-per-week striker with just two Premier League goals to his name this term is a reported Blues target:
Tony Hibbert – Everton
Chelsea are known for defensive unity. However, seeing Blues defenders on the score sheet, especially right-back Branislav Ivanovic, is becoming an increasingly regular sight.
Hibbert has never scored for Everton in 264 Premier League appearances for the club.
George Boyd – Burnley
If you want to fill an attacking midfield or wide berth for Mourinho, you better be prepared to work hard. Even Juan Mata didn’t possess enough mastery to save his bacon under the pragmatic Portuguese.
Mata’s English, long-haired, headband-wearing twin, George Boyd, has a similar wand of a right foot, but he can’t run, so he’ll never be a Blue, sadly.
Daley Blind – Manchester United
A growing trend among the Stamford Bridge players (and manager) is their tendency to get into hot water with the footballing authorities. A crowd of blue shirts crowding the referee hollering and gesticulating over a decision is common place for the Londoners now.
Although Blind is supposed to be a defensive midfielder, he wouldn’t fit in with that culture. He has only been booked three times in 22 starts for the Red Devils and was dubbed the Premier League’s nicest player by the Mirror for personally replying to fan mail. The wimp.
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