As the Hipster Tipster it’s important to stay on top of the latest trends in world football, whether it’s the current penchant among players for the Gerard-Butler-from-300 combo of short hair and long beard or the use of magic vanishing spray by referees.
Fortunately, Sky and BT are here to help hipsters like me traverse the globe from the comfort of my IKEA Poang armchair and tune-in to all the must see action from Ligue 1, the MLS and the Eredivisie.
Best enjoyed alongside brie and a glass of creamy, subtly oaked Chardonnay this Saturday, backing wins for Paris Saint-Germain, Vitesse, Real Salt Lake and Sporting Lisbon could leave you feeling rather flush at odds of 9/1 with Ladbrokes.
Genuine tears were shed this week after learning that Zlatan Ibrahimovic would be retiring from football in 2016. With just two years of Ibracadabra magic left to enjoy, I insisted on including the Parisiens in my weekly picks.
Heavy favourites for the win, PSG made chateaubriand mince meat of Bastia last term, winning 4-0 and 3-0 in their two fixtures. I expect a flourish from Zlatan – the only man I would bear children for.
Having come across Vitesse during many a game of Football Manager, I have it on good authority – a blog I found on reddit about the club – that their ties to Chelsea make them a good prospect for success in Holland.
Sounding a bit like a cheese themselves, Cambuur have a mouldy record against the hosts, losing on each of their last four visits to Arnhem and having struggled last term, they may lack the maturity to come out on top here.
Offering the opportunity to see former Dundee United star Ryan Gauld in action for a rejuvenated Sporting Lisbon, I nearly choked on my breakfast granola when I saw Sporting were just 13/20 for the win, despite coming away with a 4-0 victory on their last trip to Coimbra.
Academica won just one of their last six at home in Primeira Liga last term in a record that sounds worse than the Kaiser Chiefs’ latest effort and with Sporting winning three of their last four on the road in the league, I predict a…win for the visitors.
When Will Ferrell started cheering on Team USA at the World Cup, soccer officially became cool Stateside – while also allowing me to rekindle my passion for quoting Anchorman during awkward social situations – and I’ve decided to turn my attention to Major League Soccer.
Seattle – the home of Frasier Crane – travel to Real Salt Lake for an encounter where the team hosting the game has come out on top in each of their last four meetings, making the Salt Lake side – unbeaten in six at Rio Tinto Stadium – the ones to back.
All odds and markets correct as of the date of publishing
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